Pet Hate No. 24 - Bloody seagulls!

It's been over 4 years since I posted to this blog, but the time has come.

For the last 2 years we've been inundated with gulls, nesting in the Unit next door and on neighbour's roofs - possibly even our flat roof too, for all we know.

The squawking of the birds starts about 4 am and is loud enough to awaken us. What's worse is the mess they leave - all over the driveway and my car, which I now have to clean every day to get rid of the toxic residue, lest it eats through the paintwork and rubber surrounds to the windows.

To compound the felony, we now have a fledgling gull who hasn't taken to flight yet, but has now made our back garden its home. Jo thought it was rather cute at first but it's been here for almost a week now and is showing no signs of flying off yet. We know now that it can fly - we've seen it fly a few feet off the ground, but it seems to fear going any higher or further.

The mess it leaves on our slabs is unbelievable - I've been power hosing it, but much of it is so ingrained that it's going to take a lot more to clean up the slabs that I slavishly bleached at the start of the lockdown.

The parents are making regular visits to the fledgling so it's getting fed OK, which seems to mean that it has little incentive to take full flight and leave us in peace. Here they all are:

I've even emailed the RSPB (no response). What to do now?

Pet Hate No. 23

Not so much a pet hate as a bit of a rant at our local government's inefficiency. We go on holiday on 1st June this year and we'll be away when the referendum on Britain's membership of the EC is being held on 23rd June, so, thinking ahead, I registered us for postal votes a couple of weeks ago - plenty of time, you would think.

We received formal acknowledgments 10 days ago that we were properly registered for postal votes and that our ballot papers would be sent out "nearer to the referendum date". This latter comment concerned me a little - when exactly would they be sending these out? I e-mailed them yesterday and received the following reply:

"The Returning Officer is responsible for the issue of ballot papers. I understand the initial issue is 2 June. Your only other option is to appoint a proxy to vote on your behalf. Application form attached. The completed forms can be scanned back."

That's a fat lot of good for us - we'll be gone by then. The PM announced the date of the referendum as long ago as 20th February. Why can't they send us the ballot papers before 2nd June then?

Bah humbug.

Pet Hate No. 22

It's been a while, so I guess I'm overdue for a rant. This one was inspired by Jo and the subject is blind Parochialism - particularly on Scotland's commercial TV channel - STV.

Up here in the North East of Scotland, we used to have our own regional ITV channel - Grampian - which was eventually taken over by STV, closing the Aberdeen studios in to the bargain.

The "S" supposedly stands for Scotland, but it is so Glasgow-centric, it's not true. They even announce at the end of most of their shows "coming to you from the heart of your city". Now I still consider myself a Glaswegian, despite the fact I've only lived there for less than a quarter of my life, but it's only the "heart of your city" if you happen to live in Glasgow, surely? - and what if you don't even live in a city, but are out in the sticks?

I haven't heard any Aberdonians or those from any other parts of the country commenting on this - but I do wonder in particular what those in the capital think of this?

Pet Hates Nos. 20 & 21

It's been a while since I had cause to add to this occasional blog, but today I've got another two examples.

I ordered a new iPhone 6 on Friday - after a lot of hassle/sharp intakes of breath with Vodafone - and was told that there was a delivery slot the following morning and the courier would deliver it between 8 am and 1 pm, so I waited in on Saturday morning. Of course, it never arrived, but I just shrugged my shoulders and bit my tongue and thought to myself, well it'll arrive on Monday.

Monday was almost over and there was still no sign of the courier, who, I had been told, would phone/text about an hour before he arrived. So I decided to phone Vodafone - "hold on sir, I'll contact the couriers now." I was told there had been a technical issue at the couriers' but my phone was in their Aberdeen depot and would be delivered tomorrow (Tuesday), and I would get a text tonight with a one hour delivery slot and the name of the driver.

The text arrived - this morning - and it told me "Neil" would deliver my phone between 16:37 and 17:37 - how very precise, I thought. Of course, this meant I had to stay in all day - I couldn't trust the couriers to keep their promise and it would be Sod's Law if I popped out for an hour or two and they arrived then.

They got the timing right - it arrived minutes after 16:37. Neil was a right surly one - as he handed me the parcel and the signing machine, the only words he uttered were "we don't deliver on Saturdays", pointing to the promised delivery date on the advice note. I suggested perhaps somebody should tell Vodafone then, precipitating the gruff response "nobody delivers to Banchory on a Saturday". I impressed myself with the restraint I showed by not responding to this, but as I walked away, I wished I'd asked him what happened to Monday then?

This seems to happen on at least half the deliveries by couriers - either late, or no delivery, or worse still, they arrive but don't ring the bell or wait long enough and all you get is a card in the mailbox telling you they were here, and please call such-and-such a number to either arrange another time, or come to their depot and pick it up.

So that was my first Pet Hate today (and my 20th to date). Number 21 is directed at Apple. In a previous posting to this blog, I had ranted on about USB's, which have turned out to be anything but "Universal" connections. Well, the same now applies to Apple - they love to be quirky and their connectors were always different from others, but the new iPhone 6 has completely different connectors from my existing iPhone 4 - and Jo's iPad. What's that all about?

Pet Hate No. 19

I'm on a roll - my second post of the day. This time, it's the differing rules for qualifying to play sport for your Nation. In the old days, it was simple - born in Scotland, play for Scotland. Then they introduced - quite rightly - the parental rule, whereby if your parents were born in a country and then moved and you were born elsewhere, you had the option to play for either country.

Slightly more contentious was when they introduced the Grandparents rule, but at least there is still a bloodline there. The one I have a real problem with is the residency rule, which, in football (soccer) means that after 5 years of staying in a country, you become eligible to represent that Nation. Other sports - rugby and cricket, in particular - have even shorter periods of qualification - 3 or 4 years - under the residency criterion.

This is now being widely abused by virtually all nations. Passports of convenience. What is the point of having Nation v Nation if everyone can freely migrate from country to country, many of them representing more than one country during their sporting career? Surely club sport satisfies this need - national sport should surely be different?

In cricket, Kevin Pietersen's recent experiences with the England team have hit the headlines, and a current hot topic in Scotland is Australian Scott Johnson's status as Head Coach - and soon to be Director - of Scottish Rugby. He has surrounded himself with fellow non-nationals too.

The Times had a very considered piece on this very topic recently. Under a seemingly, semi-nationalistic headline, it gave a very considered view of the history of sporting migration in the context of the ever-changing world map of Nations:

(click on image to enlarge)

I believe there has to be some kind of bloodline or place of birth to automatically qualify to represent a country and the residency rule should only be used once long-term residency has been clearly established - e.g. Mo Farah, who has lived in the UK since he was 8. Furthermore, the criteria for selection for the Managers, coaches etc should be identical to that of the players.

There - I've said it now. That one's been bugging me for a while.

Pet Hate No. 18

I was reminded of this the other day - I was taken aback to realise that I hadn't previously had a go at car rental companies in this blog, considering how many times I have complained about them in the past.

You book a holiday - flights, accommodation and perhaps car rental at the airport. You provide all your details beforehand so you think it would be a fairly simple thing to show up, collect your keys and drive off? Think again - the amount of waiting and paperwork that all car rental companies make you do - at all locations - is just ridiculous in this age of technology with instant electronic communications everywhere.

There - I've got it off my chest now. Which reminds me - must book our car hire for New Jersey this summer. Now which incompetent international brand name shall I choose to be annoyed by this time?

Pet Hate No. 17

Spelling and grammar. Yes, I'm a bit of a traditionalist, I know - and I also appreciate that languages evolve - witness the number of new words that enter the OED each year.

I hate seeing spelling and grammatical errors written down - and there's plenty of opportunities for that on social media nowadays - but it definitely seems worse when you see it in the so-called quality press.

It can be amusing however - I've already used a word in this blog that often reveals the hidden Glaswegian in anyone. The West of Scotland pronunciation of the word has so stressed the third syllable that it seems the natives now believe you should spell it "definately".